With the recent death of a dear friend, I find myself groping for specific things to remember about him. Everything seems so recent and so mundane that I feel it is trivial to even try to capture his life in a few sentences, or paragraphs, because I believe every life deserves a book.
But before I talk about Vic, let me just say that I am privileged that my life in London allows me to cross paths with so many people from all walks of life and for that, I am eternally grateful to the Lord because I know it’s all part of His providential ordering of my own life. I’ve lived here for over nineteen years now and many of the people I meet here have left their home country for greener pastures in London. I get a glimpse of an expat’s life and what it takes to live a life of extreme sacrifice by leaving their family back home and to make a difference in the lives of people at their workplace.
Many of my friends here only stay in London for a few years and they return to their home country or move to their next posting — that’s just the nature of living in one of the world’s financial capital. It’s always sad when a friend leaves for whatever reason. Sadly, five days ago a very dear friend of ours, Vic Casim, left us — not to retire in NY but to meet his Creator. It took us all by surprise; his health had deteriorated very rapidly after he was confined at the hospital for a series of blood test. The last time Jared and I were with him at his flat in December of last year, he jokingly said that he’ll move to Manila once we’ve settled ourselves in the Philippines. I know he mentioned many times before that he couldn’t see himself retiring in Manila, or even in New York where his sister and other family members live.
Last week as I was trying to put together some of Vic’s photographs, I was reminded that on his 80th birthday I’ve posted on social media (both Instagram and Facebook) a tribute for him, (I’ve reposted it again in April), and the words I’ve written encapsulates in one paragraph how I will always remember him. Here’s the screenshot of that old post:
I’m glad I saved this because I often delete my old Facebook posts. Vic reposted this and I’m still trying to find the screenshots of the comments his friends left. I remember he was so delighted and even phoned me to say that Senator Gibo Teodoro had left a nice comment.
My friendship with Vic transcends politics, fashion, royal news, current events and London/Manila high society nattering. He and I often talk about spiritual things and he’s very open to discuss with me these things. Since Lou and Bobby Ramos left London in 2011, he endeared himself more to Jared and me. When Jared’s schedule allowed him to join us for any gathering at Vic’s flat, we’d always be the last people to leave. He always asked us to stay until everyone’s gone; our conversation would then naturally drift into spiritual matters and he loved to talk about it for hours on end. And even when Jared isn’t able to join us, he’d pick me up from Vic’s flat after an evening get-together with friends (because he didn’t want me traveling on my own at night). And Vic would always insist that he joins us for coffee and chit-chat and very often it would just be the three of us talking until he is ready to let us go.
Vic will be sorely missed not just by his family and friends but by his former colleagues and business contacts in London, NY and Manila. He established a permanent presence in the Filipino community here and his death left
a void that none of the Filipino expats in London can fill. He’s such a colourful character and his debonair touch made an indelible impression on those he came in contact with. He often told me every time we talk about spiritual things that he’d rather die in his sleep and didn’t want to be confined in bed for long and be a burden to anyone. God has clearly granted his desire. He didn’t suffer long. I praise and thank the Lord for that.
I know that in the midst of grief, we are still in life. And my joy continues knowing that our time is in God’s hands. He is in full control of all things. But with all that, my thoughts are with his sister right now. Tita Lourdes lost her husband a few years back and now her one and only sibling is also gone. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for her losing two of the most important men in her life but I know that with her seemingly stoic personality, she will continue to enjoy life with her kids and grandkids.
I’d like to share some memories I have of Vic since I’ve known him, from 2000 up to date.
Vic and Ambassador Cesar Bautista, summer 2000. The Bautistas were very fond of him; Mrs Bautista would often invite him over for meals at their house, or have their chef, Mang Sendong, bring home-cooked meals to his flat.
He loved Princess Diana. He talked about seeing her in the neighbourhood. We walked around Kensington Palace on her death anniversary in 2007 and I took a photo of him with the large photo of the late princess.
Last year he was too tired to get out of the house and walk around KP. The last time he and I walked around the park was when he asked me to record a video of himself for Ben Chan’s birthday. Miguel Pastor asked him to give a surprise message and I spent the afternoon with him filming in front of the palace. I edited it and sent to Miguel while having a nice chat over tea at the Orangery.
Vic’s birthday in 2007 with Lou and Bobby Ramos after the Chan-Lim family left. They’re taking a break from karaoke. 🙂 Vic’s got so many friends but they don’t merge. (His memorial service on Saturday will be the first time it will happen.) When he hosted three different ‘Sayounara Party’ (between 2014-16 because he thought he’d go back to NY for good), it was a small gathering and he only selected a few of his friends in different circles and had them over to his flat. I was blessed to have been invited in all three of them, the last one was in October 2016 and I remember feeling so sad that he was retiring in NY.
Lou, Vic, Cherie, Bremley (Vic’s friend from his Columbia University Alumni circle) and me, December 2008.
From R-L: Cherie, Lou, Bobby, Vic, Candy and me, after breakfast at Giraffe High St Kensington sometime in 2010 or 2011. Lou and Bobby stayed with him during this visit and he was very happy to have them in town for a few days.
Vic’s full of life, fun-loving and always cheerful!
Vic invited me, Kristine and Michelle for a Sunday lunch at his flat sometime in August 2018. I recall being late and had to run from church right after talking to our visitors. I recall bringing with me ube ensaymada for our dessert.
To celebrate Vic’s and Cherie’s birthday, we had a brunch at Baglioni Hotel, end of April or early May 2016. (Thank you so much once again for the special treat, Cherie!)
I made him a chocolate mini-cake, and of course, the fondant icing has to be green — his favourite colour! 🙂 Cherie also got a mini-floral design pink cake that day (Baglioni Hotel, April or May 2016).
This image of him singing one of his favourite songs, “Besame Mucho” sticks with me.
Vic had attended our church on numerous occasions — Sunday and special events especially the Christmas Cantata. Before he’d fly to NY for Christmas holiday he’d come and join us for the Cantata/Christmas candle light worship service. This photo with one of my church mates, Adiben Ferando, at the fellowship hall, December 2017 was taken just a few days before he flew to the states and that was the last time he spent Christmas with his family in NY.
At the IFS/LFW — International Fashion Showcase, London Fashion Week, Feb 2014. He loved fashion and one of the projects he started was the Philippines’ participation in the International Fashion Showcase — Filipino designers were invited to present their collections at the London Fashion Week. I’d always get an invite from the Phil. Trade Office to attend the opening party of these events — thanks to Vic! It was very special because I’d attend these events with the most famous ‘Tito’ (uncle) in the Filipino community in London. 🙂
Vic’s birthday at Michelle’s flat, April 2019. (Michelle Sanchez is the current Commercial Attache at the Phil. Trade Office in London). I now look back and regret that I didn’t get to bake a special cake for his last birthday. Although I planned on baking that Saturday morning, I received the news from my cardiologist the day before that I may have to undergo an open heart surgery. And with that heavy burden, I decided to just have a store-bought cake. During the meal he was telling us some stories about all the blood tests he had back in Feb-March and that the doctors didn’t find anything wrong.
After Lou and other Filipino diplomat friends left London, Cherie and I continued to get together with him on a regular basis. But with Cherie being gone travelling with George around the world after he retired, we’d get-together as often as everyone’s schedule would allow it. From 2016 sometimes Marlie and Gina (Consing-McAdams) would join us too. Vic would often refer to the group as the ‘foodie gang’ because we all love to eat haha! This photo was taken after we had lunch at Melissa Hemsley’s Pop Up restaurant in Mayfair, December 2017. Photo courtesy of Gina.
Vic’s birthday in 2015 with Cherie and her daughter Ileana at Papaya Tree, then a newly opened Thai restaurant in Queensway which he wanted to try.
Vic invited me to the Christmas get-together of former Phil. Trade Office staff in December 2016. I never worked at the Philippine Embassy nor did I have contact with international business people outside of the fashion industry where I used to work. Very often he graciously invited me to attend lunches, or dinners, or other events he hosted for different groups. I would only decline the invite when I’m providentially hindered. This is one of those occasions when I was able to join him and his ‘Trade Office’ gang.
This photo with Joanna Ampil was taken may be 3 years ago. Vic invited me to his flat for tea one time, and surprisingly Joanna Ampil was staying with him for a week or two while her flat was being prepared before the opening of a WestEnd musical show she was on. Jo and I became friends on Facebook since that first meeting but I’ve never contacted her until last week. I remember Vic mentioned during our last brunch with Cherie that Jo’s supposed to stay with him for a few days in July. That prompted me to send her a message last week. Sadly, Jo can’t be here for Vic’s memorial service but she sent a recording of a song she did for his funeral. Apparently, he asked her to do this for him. (Btw, I never posted this photo before and I’m sure if Vic’s still around and read this blog, he’d asked me to post it on Facebook with a reminder, “Please don’t forget to tag me, Elna.”)
Our church’s young people had a picnic one summer and some of the parents like Bobby and Lou Ramos joined us (their kids John and JR were part of our young people’s group). We also invited Vic and he told me he had a lot of fun.
A cousin of mine, Lynn, and her daughter, Kathleen, hosted an afternoon tea for my birthday back in January 2016, and they also invited Vic. Lynn’s husband, Philip Syliangco, and Vic both occupied the same position as Vice-President of Solid Bank Philippines, though at different era. It was a point of conversation when Philip was around because they both know the same people in the Philippine banking industry.
Vic, Lynn, Kathleen, Charlene and Philip, London 2015. (I was with them and took this photo)
In early December 2017, Adiben, and I bumped into Vic at a bus stop in Kensington while we were on our way to Mayfair. We invited him to join us and he was happy to do it and ended up spending the day with us. We had lunch (Adiben’s treat — thank you again Sis!); walked around New Bond Street to see the Christmas lights and then we went to Claridges to see the ‘upside down tree’. Funnily enough, he told me to check his FB post the following day with a photo of himself by the tree with a caption, “with my secret date at the Claridges . . .” and some of his friends asked who he was with. He was laughing over the phoned and said, “I’m just going to ignore them and let them guess who I was with!” So typical of Vic! LOL
The last time both Jared and I were at his flat was shortly before New Year. Vic insisted on having a photo taken and Jared doesn’t really like anyone taking a photo of himself but he happily posed for this. Vic did put the orchids on my hands and said, “You gave this to me. It has to be included in the picture.” I laughed when he said that. Jared and I both look rough in this photo haha!
For Vic’s birthday three years ago, I got him a chocolate cake from Pâtisserie Valerie.
At the International Fashion Showcase 2017 with Ambassador Lagdameo and two other Phil. Embassy officers.
Vic invited me to the International Fashion Showcase, London Fashion Week 2015. We posed for a photo with Filipino designer Amina Aranaz.
Even after Lou left London, we’d often get-together when Cherie’s in town and sometimes we’d show up at the Phil Trade Office with ‘StickNBowl’ take away lunch. He loved roast pork/crispy pork rice and hot & sour soup. This photo was one of those countless days . . . I look at this photo and feel so sad!
One day Vic organised a brunch at the newly opened restaurant on Kensington High St. I have no recollection of the restaurant’s name (2016 or 2017) but it’s obviously in the dead of winter because we were, except for Cherie, all wrapped up from the neck down to the ankle haha! Gina, a very busy lady, was able to join us then!
At Michelle’s first flat (on her first year as the Phil. Commercial Attache in London), she hosted a dinner and I brought a cake for Vic’s birthday. Notice the candle on top — number 40! I always chuckle when I’m around him and hear someone asks about his age, he’d usually say with a big laugh, ‘Secret!’ 🙂
My girl friends Precy, Kristine, Marj, Dynah, and Michelle organised a dinner to celebrate my birthday this year and Vic was able to join us too. (Sorry Aimee you missed it!)
When former Phil. Ambassador to South Africa, Mario de Leon, and wife, Eleanor, visited London in December of last year, Vic hosted a dinner for them and invited me as well. Mabel, Eleanor’s sister, was with us, and she took this lovely photo of us before they left. Jared came to pick me up that night, and Vic insisted Jared should come in and stay for a few minutes for coffee and chit-chat but as always, we couldn’t leave until he was ready to let us go. We ended up chatting with him for a couple of hours.
He also hosted Emma Sarne’s ‘Sayounara Party’ sometime in December of last year.
Late night dinner at Côte Brasserie with Lou and Bobby Ramos after an event at the Phil. Embassy, March 2008.
Those who know Vic very well can attest that he had a good sense of humour, and he’d even make fun of himself. When he’s around people that he’s comfortable with, and he didn’t have to put on a mask, he can be quite funny. He’s hilarious when he tried to mimic people. I remember one time he shared a story about a Filipino actress he met in London and when I asked if she’s beautiful in person, he replied with his lips puckered, “No. Mukha syang isda!” (She looks like a fish.) LOL! And I asked why, his response was, “because she obviously had silicone lip fillers and botox-filled face.”
Vic, Gina, Marlie, Cherie and I had tea at The Berkeley Hotel to celebrate my birthday last year. When Vic phoned me to ask what I think about the Berkeley fashionista themed afternoon tea for my birthday, I simply said, ‘Yes, of course! I wouldn’t say no to a ‘tea invite’ especially on my birthday haha.
Cherie and I had brunch with Vic before she flew to Greece last month, 1st or 2nd week of May 2019, at his favourite local restaurant, Côte Brasserie. Who would have ever thought that that was the last time Cherie and I would share a meal with him? The T-shirt he had on was from the recent Van Gogh Exhibition at The Tate.
While trying to find on his Facebook wall my tribute post on his 80th birthday (couldn’t find it because I often delete old posts) this is what I found: “The young ones (once)” and it made me laugh! The caption “Vic’s Angels — Cherie, Lou & Elna” encapsulates the type of friendship he had with the three of us — he can be himself when he’s around us so the conversation isn’t just about shallow things like current events or Philippine politics. As you can see, this photo was taken back in 2011 and Vic reposted it in March of last year.
It was very sweet of him to post this on Facebook. I did a screenshot when I saw it a few days ago while checking his wall posts.
I was invited to the dinner that Vic’s sister hosted at Romulo Cafe to celebrate his life on 21st of June 2019, the very same day he passed away. From L-R, yours truly, Jaime Teodoro, Chris Joseph, Rowena Romulo, Morgan German (Vic’s grandniece), Peggy German-Mccandless (Vic’s niece); Camille Rolland, Cathie de Leon, Dra. Lourdes Casim-German (Vic’s sister), and Nikki Prieto-Teodoro. We had a wonderful time talking about Vic and just before we left the restaurant we all said, “See you at the hospital tomorrow!” We all thought we’d see him again the next day. None of us thought that when we said goodbye to him before we left the hospital earlier in the day that it was the final goodbye. He passed on just over an hour after we finished dinner. Thank you so much once again for the dinner, Tita Lourdes!
Kristine and I were scheduled to meet up for brunch the next day, Saturday 22 June, and we decided to go to Côte Brasserie. It’s practically an extension of Vic’s kitchen and he’d eaten here innumerable times. When I arrived, Kristine was already seated at a table near the window but providentially Vic’s favourite table was vacant. So I asked the duty manager if we could take that instead but she said we can’t because it’s for four people. I then mentioned that it’s ‘Vincent’s favourite table’ and she said, ‘Of course!’ And then I said, “Sadly, he passed away last night!” The staff who heard what I said were shocked and in tears, “what happened?” they asked as we walked to the table . . . I simply said that he’s been ill. “But we just saw him not too long ago!” they exclaimed. I told them it was a brief illness, barely three weeks, and he didn’t suffer too long. Silvia, the duty manager, told me that she and the other staff would love to attend Vic’s memorial service so she gave me her mobile number. (I spoke with Silvia the other day and she confirmed her attendance on Saturday.)
Tine and I had a lovely time sharing stories about Vic. I ordered Egg Royal, the same one he had six weeks prior when Cherie and I had brunch with him at Côte. When Silvia brought the bill, she said, “We’ve given you a discount, the exact same discount we always gave to Vincent.” I was deeply touched! I thanked her and the other staff for all their help and services to Vic over the years, and for extending the same courtesy to Kristine and me. The yellow clutch (from Miss Selfridge) was a gift Vic had given me on my birthday in 2015.
After brunch, Kristine and I decided to walk around Vic’s old stomping ground and we naturally ended up at Kensington Court. I wanted to say hi to Noel, the porter of the building, who had been of great help to Vic. I wasn’t expecting him to open the door for us but he graciously did, and we had a little chat with him. I thanked him for all of his help and services to Vic over the years. He responded, “mamimiss ko talaga sya…ang bait na tao non!” (I’ll really miss him. He’s such a very kind man.) We posed for a photo one last time before we said goodbye to Noel. And as we walked out of the building, I said to Kristine, “This is the last time you and I will be in this flat. It’s the end of an era!”
Jo would have loved to sing this live at Vic’s memorial service on Saturday. I’ve forwarded to Rowena Romulo the audio that Jo sent me early this week and hopefully, it will be played either at the church or at the crematorium.
June 27, 2019 July 7, 2019 by Elna Categories: Up Close & Personal Tags: Cherie Boyes, Gina McAdams, Kristine Salle, London Friends, Lou Ramos, Michelle Sanchez, Phil. Commercial Attache, Vic Casim, Vincent Casim